a message to oprah

yes, i admit it. i watch oprah. its on the tivo and the dvr and sometimes i fall asleep to it. i stumbled upon this week's episode. it was a follow up on the mackenzie phillips incest story.

i watched with curiousity and fascination to see if the show would (a) call incest abuse and (b) provide resources. although indirectly done, it did call incest abuse. but no resources were provided. the women (and their books) featured were found through oprah's website and message boards. after the episode ended, rather than going to sleep, i logged in.

this is what i wrote:

I watched with great interest your follow up show on incest. Center for Disease Control states the best way to end sexual child abuse is by public awareness campaigns. Your courage in airing such episodes is commendable.



However, I fear you left an important element out of this show: what viewers can do to stop & report abuse. Your next follow up show should highlight these agencies. At the Baltimore Child Abuse Center, we are one of 600 children’s advocacy centers giving voices to children when abuse is suspected. We work with police, social services, and families to give a voice to end abuse as well as provide treatment and prevention. As this episode aired, 150 of us were meeting in Denver to discuss how to best continue this battle. We make investigations better, we empower families, we even save taxpayer dollars, and we can do more.


The fight against sexual child abuse- which is incest, molestation and "consensual" intercourse within families- and providing help to families who need it continues. We must get word out that we are here working as a team to help. Ample resources are available and I was hoping your episode would provide numbers or web addresses. For those interested, help can be found at www.baltimorechildabusecenter.org and nationalchildrensalliance.org. We are here to help.


- Adam Rosenberg, Executive Director, Baltimore Child Abuse Center

the episode is here http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20091008-tows-incest-survivor-rena watch it. tell me what you think. does this help us, hurt us, make the issue more tangible or more unthinkable. tell me your comments.
 
oprah links to RAINN which is a great resource - but can we give more? can we and oprah who get millions of viewers (empathetic to the cause and some victims themselves) to understand how we are here to help?
 
oprah - if you are out there, we want in - we want to be a part of the dialogue and to help end abuse.

what if we advertised the same way?

just saw an excellent ad for the humane society of north america. dozens of grusome pictures of dogs crammed into crate like cages, horses being led to slaughter, cats with maimed legs - all filmed in grainy dim color with dark music. horrific statistics about the number of dogs forced to fight, slaughtered for meat, terrible stuff. and for just $19 a month you can stop it (cut to scene with acress and adorable healthy puppy).

imagine if the child abuse community posted the same ad? images of abused children, kids with horrible bruises, children terrified in beds with adults? the outcry would be deafening.

i think its one of the major stumbling blocks we face as a community to get our message out there that for the same $19 you can stop child abuse.

this is not meant to knock animal abuse - i love my dog, we got him from the SPCA. its a great and important organization. but the fact that substantially more money goes to animal causes versus people causes is mind blowing.

captions such as what did i do wrong? why did they abandon me? will i die today? every day 1000s of animals throughout america are tortured and killed. couldn't we say the same thing about children?

the add concludes with "if these animals could talk they'd tell you they desparately need you to save them right now." couldn't we make the same claim for children - except even worse, they do talk, and we don't listen.

how do we begin to make the sea change and get people to notice, and more importantly, act to keep children safe from abuse?

what are your thoughts on this?

6 Easy Ways to Keep Kids Safe

The Baltimore Child Abuse Center wants to help you keep kids safe. Below are 6 easy things that you can do. Learn more at our site www.baltimorechildabusecenter.org/prevent_abuse

1. Learn the facts-

Abusers are not always strangers. In fact, in the majority of sexual abuse cases, the perpetrator is very close to the family. Learn how to identify the signs of abuse and abusers.

2. Know the Signs-

Physical signs of sexual abuse are not always present. Know how to identify behavioral and emotional signs of abuse. Does your child fear a specific person? Are they afraid to be left alone? Do they have nightmares? It could be nothing, or together, could be early indicators of abuse. Know what to look for.

3. Talk to Them!

Only 1 in 10 children who have been sexually abused actually report it. Often it is because they do not have an adult they trust. Let your children know it is okay to talk to you about anything, and that you will not get angry or upset if they think they made a mistake.

4. Minimize Opportunity-

Educated children are much harder targets for abuse. Teach your children about their own bodies, and the correct names of their body parts. Teach them what is an inappropriate touch, not a "bad" touch, as this can be confusing for young children. Often times a "bad touch" feels good and is confusing to them. Also teach them to avoid being left alone with an adult they do not trust. Let your child tell you if there is somene they do not trust, and believe them when they tell you they do not want to be alone with that person; there is probably a reason why.

5. Have a Plan-

Talk to your child about people who they can go to at any time if something bad happens. Establish a place where they can go where they feel safe if something bad happens. Let your child tell you who they trust or where they feel comfortable. This way, if something goes wrong, both you and your child have a place and a person where you know they can go and feel safe, and you can easily find them.

6. Take Action-

Don't overreact if your child discloses something bad that has happened to them. Let them know that you are listening and that what they have to say is important. Refrain from asking them too many questions, as they may become confused or think they are in trouble. Report any incident immediately to the proper authorities. 911 or 410-361-2235, are both reporting lines.

Prevention - what can you do?

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.

What can you do spread the message and help prevent abuse?

• Wear a ribbon in support of the cause (you can get them from us by emailing info@bcaci.org, or just looping blue or teal ribbon)
• Join our cause on Facebook and make a statement to your online friends that you aren't tolerating abuse. http://tiny.cc/fvVYo
• Learn the 6 easy ways you can keep your kids safe. http://www.baltimorechildabusecenter.org/prevent_abuse
• Invite someone from BCAC to speak to your group about prevention
  

Audacious Idea - Let's End Sexual Child Abuse

Here's a post that I submitted to OSI's Audacious Ideas Blog in the fall. I'm reposting it here for your review and comment. (Click here for the original post) Over the coming months, BCAC plans to unveil an ambitious, audacious, and attainable plan to educate ALL of Baltimore City over the 6 years in preventing sexual child abuse.

What if I told you that as a city we could reduce the incidents of sexual child abuse by 48%?

Consider the fact that last year, the Baltimore Child Abuse Center interviewed 793 children about allegations of sexual child abuse; now consider national estimates that only one in 10 children report the abuse.

Baltimore City statistics show that 82% of children who reported abuse knew their abuser. A significant proportion of abusers who these children know are young men who have grown up in a culture that tells them it’s acceptable to have sex with a 12 year old – which is in fact rape, regardless of consent.

We need to start talking frankly and publically about child sexual abuse in Baltimore. Teaching our kids “good touch/bad touch” is insufficient. It inappropriately puts the burden on the child victim to stand up and say what happened – adults must take responsibility for the safety and healthy development of children. We must go from a fear based approach to one that confronts these issues head on in an open dialogue. We must also educate parents and teachers through outreach to schools, religious institutions and community groups. Adults need to know what to look out for as well as what to say and do to stop abuse. They also need to believe children who talk about alleged abuse rather than doubting their words simply because they are children.

It’s essential we confront boys and young men ages 15 to 21. They are not necessarily predatory sex offenders but opportunistic sex offenders, whose behavior can be most easily and least expensively influenced. Through candid discussions in classrooms, youth centers, and religious institutions with potential victims, potential perpetrators and even bystanders about the rules, ramifications and criminal penalties of their actions, we can begin to change the culture, prevent abuse and salvage many lives. By helping all possibly affected impressionable youths identify the factors that put them at risk of being hurt themselves or hurting others and empowering them to develop their own protections, we can begin to dramatically reduce the incidents of future sexual abuse.

Nationally, child sexual abuse costs taxpayers an estimated $24.4 billion a year for health care, social services, and law enforcement. Sexually abused/assaulted children are 74 percent more likely to commit a crime against another person and 24 times more likely to become abusers themselves.

The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention has declared child sexual maltreatment a preventable public health problem and recommended adoption of an ongoing and coordinated community prevention response. What are we waiting for?

It’s been done. By confronting this issue, the State of Vermont – whose socio-economic and offender data is similar to Baltimore’s – reduced its rate of reported child sexual abuse by 48 percent over 10 years. They implemented the above programs and curriculum in their schools and communities and committed to changing the dialogue about how they address sexual abuse. Educators, parents, and youth workers as well as teenage children have for years participated in comprehensive health education and violence prevention programs which resulted in promoting healthy relationships, safe lines of communication, and empowered adults to dramatically reduce sexual child abuse. It’s time we take similar action in Baltimore and focus on aggressively fighting sexual child abuse in our city.